Superman Returns, but with a Whimper

I finally watched the long-awaited (and long-released) new installment of Superman yesterday. Let me begin with a few general observations: Superman, as a very non-angsty superhero with only one real weakness has always been my least favorite. He doesn't have the darkness of Batman, or the everyman quality of Spiderman. Also, we're supposed to believe that glasses can make someone look so different that you wouldn't recognise them without it. That said, I was looking forward to this film for two very good reasons, one being that Bryan Singer (who did such an excellent job with the hugely enjoyable X-Men films and more importantly made The Usual Suspects) was directing; and the other was that Kevin Spacey was playing Lex Luthor.

IMHO, Lex Luthor has been one of the worst essayed villains in mainstream media. He is after all a very interesting villain, a real match for Superman, perhaps the only source of angst that the 'Man of Steel' really has. While in the initial films Gene Hackman played the art, he did so tongue in cheek and refused to be bald for the role. See this post for more whingeing about that. Anyway, the very thought of Kevin Spacey being this obviously evil gave me goosebumps and I just could not wait to watch the film. But then lukewarm reviews and financial crises came along and my priorities quickly re-arranged themselves.

Casting a relative unknown was probably a good idea, but Brandon Routh looks so much like Christopher Reeve that its somewhat discomforting. But that isn't the biggest casting mistake: Kate Bosworth as Lois Lane? Really? What was Singer thinking? Especially considering the absolute lack of chemistry she has with Brandon Routh, and how much of the film hinges on them looking like star-crossed lovers. ("Destined to be together" as Lois says to Clark at one point).

Very early on Lex tells Kitty (Parker Posey!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!) that technology is the cornerstone of civilization and that whoever controls technology controls the world. This thesis is a little too simplistic IMO for an evil genius such as Lex Luthor; however, since the scene doesn't, thankfully, get buried in armfuls of exposition, I'm willing to forgive it.

The tone of the film is very serious from the beginning, one gets the feeling that Singer is aware of all the expectation from the film and is very consciously trying not to offend any fanboys. As a result, the movie gets bogged down by its own sense of history and in attempting to rescue the franchise from the mess it was left in after the disaster that was Superman IV, 19 years ago, in 1987.

The movie begins with Marlon Brando reprising his role as Kal-El's aka Superman's father from well beyond the grave. In a nice but obviously crowd-pleasing touch, Eva Marie Saint has been cast as Superman's earth mother (5 minutes into the film and I wanted to go and watch On the Waterfront instead). So Superman has been away for five years, and in the meantime Lois has a son and won a Pulitzer for an article called Why the World Doesn't Need Superman. Obviously Superman is hurt by this 'betrayal'. Cue FlightofAngst, and don't worry if you miss it, it happens a lot during the film. (Of the 2 1/2 hours of running time this movie has, perhaps forty minutes is just Superman flying about to overwrought violins, keeping mankind safe. In these sequences the camera lingers over Routh lovingly, inviting us to admire his square-jawed prettiness. For some reason he also spends a lot of time flying about as if he were on an imaginary cross, and I'm sure I'm not dreaming the Christ allusions).

The central plot is amazingly disappointing for someone with Singer's vision. Its the garden-variety try-to-enrich-myself-and-I-don't-care-if-millions(oops, billions)-die thing. Spacey is never given a chance to have fun with the Luthor character, and as a result he is never bone-chillingly scary either. There is one scene, though marred by, you got it, exposition, where Luthor is telling Lois about his plans for world domination, which is truly fantastic (atleast, Spacey is fantastic) and that's because he lets Luthor go. (This reminds me, however - the kid playing Lois' child does nothing but stare creepily at everyone around).

Nothing much happens, except the world gets used to Superman's being back and being saved ona daily basis by him again. In a particularly cheesy sequence, The Daily Planet's central masthead (a globe) is about to smash a few hundred people into dust, but Superman saves them by giving Jimmy the most perfect photo-op: Superman, with, literally, the weight of the world on his back.

The movie is dull, portentuous and over-inflated with its own sense of reverence. Perhaps before the Spiderman and Batman films, this would've passed for a decent superhero flick, but now the standards are so high that anything less feels like an immense letdown. It ends set up perfectly for a sequel: the problem is, after sitting through what feels like hours on violins and FlightsofAngst, one will have no patience to see it.